One Bias I Thought About in January

A beautiful, happy Sunday to you. Thank you so much for coming here – I am deeply honoured. My name is Barnabas Akinrinola and I’m known as Alagba Barny. I blog about the things I see in my own life and the things I see from my society. I write to correct. I write to address. I write to entertain. After reading a post I’ve published, it is permitted and requested that you leave a comment, not just to say how nice a post is, but also to give your take about the issue the blog post covers. Thank you.

This Sunday, let’s talk about an ill that is rampant in our society today.

I attended an event early this year and something interesting happened. It was an event where there were a lot of dignitaries and it was clear that a lot of efforts and resources had gone to the organization of the event because it was so colourful and many nice concepts were implemented. As the event progressed, we just started hearing a noise from the far right side of the building where the event held. Tatafo me went to inquire about what happened.

The noise came from a lady who claimed she was being harassed by a middle-aged man. When we would ask what the harassment was, it turned out that the guy had allegedly asked for the beautiful lady’s number and she had withheld it. As was alleged, she was rude in telling him no and he was telling her that her response could have been polite. From all indications, it was obvious that, at the very worst, what happened between them was a minor altercation without any vituperation whatsoever. At least, that would be the case before the lady shouted for rescue. Now, all of that is not new but what I found interesting was this.

After hearing what happened, virtually everyone was saying the guy should leave the building. This was because the lady would not stop shouting and the event was being disrupted. People joined the security men to try to bundle the guy out of the building while the screaming lady was so darlingly left alone as she kept screaming and disturbing the event. Albeit, there were some ladies around who told the lady to be calm as the situation was being handled. However, the lady did not stop shouting till the guy was whisked out of the building. I found it weird – and I think a few other people around, including the ladies, did too – that it was the guy that was whisked out of the building and not the shouting, disturbing lady who refused to be quiet even when the situation was clearly being handled. I thought common sense demanded that, as soon as people came around, the lady be calm and, if she continued shouting and disrupting the event, that she be walked out of the building and safely separated from the guy. In actual fact, the lady was already leaving the venue of the event because her role in the event had already been fulfilled.

I thought about it and placed myself in the shoes of the guy. I would have walked out of the building as soon as she began to shout. Not because I think she was right but because I would easily have guessed that the reaction of majority of the people in the crowd that would form around us would be to shut their ears to whatever explanation I had to give. She would claim she had been harassed and I would immediately be adjudged guilty and viewed as a bad representation of masculinity. Did I not read that some of the people I loved and respected on social media jumped last year to gallantly stand by a certain lady who just claimed that she had been raped, and began to regard the person who allegedly raped her as a confirmed rapist without even giving that person a chance to say their own side?

I think that there is a certain unholy and very unfair bias in favour of a female person, especially where it concerns abuse, harassment or rape from a male person. I know that the stats say that far more girls and women have been raped than boys and men, and far more girls and women than boys and men are likely to be subjects of abuse, harassment and rape. However, I also think that, through history, a lot of girls and women have been found to have lied that they had been harassed or abused by men just to malign the men’s reputations. These should tell us that, yes, a lady that says she’s been harassed or abused might actually have been harassed or abused, but we would need more than her word to believe her and to castigate the person she points an accusing finger at.

The other day, a friend of mine put it on his status that the appropriate reaction to a lady who remotely claims she has been abused by a man is to say, I believe you. I was shocked to the marrow! I doubt if the same treatment would be accorded to a grown man who just claims that a lady has harassed, seduced or abused him. Usually, we would laugh at him and tell him to take it as a compliment that ladies were tripping for him and were rushing him. If a lady, out of the blues, sends a nude to a guy, the guy cannot complain because it is just ridiculous to do so. All he would be advised to do by those who care at the least is to block the lady.

We should all be reasonable. Life is not fair; we should not make it less fair on boys and men because we think they are strong enough to take it. Abuse whether from a male or female person should be condemned but only after an accusation of such is confirmed true. It is what it is. Your body or emotion is as important as someone else’s reputation built over the years with sweat from their bodies and their heartfelt tears. Thank you for reading.

Now please, let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section. Thank you.

Happy Sunday!